Betreurde boeken

“Ik had niets in de gaten, ondanks de onheilspellende berichten op tv en in de krant. Was ‘s nachts te druk met jou. Zat met mijn zilveren Mont Blanc vulpen urenlang dingen op te schrijven die er nu totaal niet meer toe doen. Betreurde mijn ongelezen boeken. Maakte me druk om de kleren die ik aanhad. Het optreden op school. Of het gazon wel mooi geknipt was. Ik had een waslijst met bekenden op wie ik kon rekenen, mocht het echt misgaan. En toen barstte de bom. Nu zie ik ’s nachts het licht van verre koplampen heen en weer flitsen over de verlaten zomerhuizen. We blijven binnen, om het huis onbewoond te laten lijken. Beloof me dat je vlucht met de kinderen als de hufters komen. Ik ben misschien zwak en kwetsbaar, maar kan wel zorgen dat ze niet achter je aan gaan.”

I know I planted those seeds down too deep
they’ll die and never see the sun
my fault for that one
I was a city boy before
no excuses anymore
I’ll try to learn and to keep us fed
shed a tear for the books I shoulda read

and I’d seen all the warning signs
on the TV, in the Times
but I had you to hold at night
and so it took me by surprise
we had so many things back then
I had a silver Mont Blanc pen
I’d write for hours about nothing
that makes any difference now

and I used to worry what clothes I had on
the school recitals and the manicured lawns
and I had a laundry-list of people
I could count on if it all went wrong…
and then the bomb

now I take precautions for my peace of mind
I don’t know what difference it might make
to hang on any longer
but I cut the tree across the drive
spend the daylight hours inside
trying to make the place look empty
so as no-one comes around

I thought I saw them again last night
those same distant headlights
sweeping back and forth across
the empty shells of the summer homes
and if the bastards ever come
promise me you’ll take the kids and run
I may be weak and I may be frail
but I can throw them off your trail

and I used to worry what clothes I had on
the school recitals and the manicured lawns
and I had a laundry-list of people
I could count on if it all went wrong…
and then the bomb

shed a tear for the books I shoulda read